An update on celibacy, almost 3 months in; it’s a profoundly revealing excercise.
I have come to see and understand many of the layers that have been preventing me from receiving love when I’ve been in relationship, and also stopped me from being my whole, authentic self when I am in relational dynamics with men.
The big one was noticing how I tend to accommodate the masculine. It’s that almost invisible, unconscious handing over of power, choice, leadership. The sense that the experience of the masculine is somehow realer, righter or truer and that I’m here as a ‘support’ to their endeavours. The sense that I matter less.
I’ve uncovered layers of hiding, shame, internalised self-objectification, and fear. It has been powerful and at times scary, always deepening, and through my self-pleasure practice, which I’ve used as a tool for self-healing, I’ve been able to hold space for my own transformation and growth.
I’ve expanded my internal awareness and awoken so much sensitivity within my yoni, my heart, and my whole body, and had the blessing of entering many states of deeply blissful orgasm.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m having the best sex of my life, and I’m alone! I feel deeply empowered and this empowerment is flowing into my life as a whole.
Even just a few months ago, I could not have imagined what a cervical orgasm felt like. Yet, in coming into relationship with my own body, and beginning to explore from a place of love and curiosity, using many of the practices that we teach in the Yoniverse, I have found my way to profound places of pleasure, bliss and wholeness in my body. This isn’t luck. This is relaxation. This is surrender. This is discipline plus pleasure. This is curiosity. This is expanding awareness. This is meditation. This is letting go.
This is available to all beings.
I see that I’m the proof in the pudding for a lot of what we offer at the Yoniverse. And because we often have this idea that it’s only with toil and hard work that change occurs or that we achieve success.
But pleasure is a pathway too. Deepening into surrender and bliss is a mode of healing and awakening that is deeply aligned with the biological, blooming, unfolding and sexual nature of the universe.
There’s so much alive and moving, for our culture as a whole and for us as individuals, leveraging that momentum and expansion is a powerful way to contribute to a cultural shift in the world and within your own being and in your relationships.
If you’re interested in exploring this further, please get in touch with me directly to arrange 1:1 coaching sessions. I’m also putting together an online course that will be available soon. A new workshop that I’ll offer to all beings regardless of gender identification or sexual orientation.