A little under two years ago, I went to the circle pools out near Protestor’s Falls with a group of beautiful and beloved sisters to honour and prepare for Loma’s birth.
In this picture I am deep in meditation, feeling en-wombed by the Mother, and connecting with the incredible being I carried in my own womb. The water was so cold at first, but my edges gradually dissolved until I was nothing and everything, in and of the earth and the universe at once.
I was/am galaxies within and without.
I embodied the process so completely in this moment. The process of life. The process of fracturing into the fractal. When I birthed Loma the feelings I embodied in the water, helped the ME ME in me to step aside and let the wisdom of my body lead me through and become her portal of arrival.
I can still remember the feeling of her head engaging as she began to crown, the deep and heavy opening of my body as it embodied its highest purpose, my yoni a pathway for Loma’s becoming. I remember resting a while at that place of total openness, my mind and body in expanse, present to what was occurring, but in a deeply altered state. Perhaps the truest moment I have ever lived.
I often think about how objects time travel in ways that beings can’t, heirlooms and furniture knowing generations and seeing centuries pass. But I’m wrong in this, we do time travel.
Loma here in this picture, in my belly, has her ovaries formed and the potential of her children within her, me in my mother’s womb with the potential of Loma already there, my mother in her womb with the potential of me inside her. Our cells travel through time and space and inform our beings in ways we can’t name, but when we listen quietly the deep knowing is there.
I couldn’t know what was to come in the months that followed Loma’s birth, but looking back now, I see that this was the beginning of a long process of initiation into awareness.
It’s moving and powerful to have this moment captured, because I now see it is as the moment when spirit moved to begin the process of shattering the illusions that I had lived within for a long time. Every moment leads to the next, from this place of love and acceptance looking back to that moment has a living sacred geometry to it.
For all that has happened since then I am grateful. For all who have loved and supported me I am grateful. For all who have been a mirror or a catalyst I am grateful. I give thanks for the blessing of Loma and for the journey that I have walked. I honour my footsteps.
Now I am preparing myself to transmute once again. With the perfection of seasons aligning, two years on from this deep moment captured, I am preparing for another birthing, this time my own, as a medicine woman.
Which is not to say that I’m any different from anyone else, except maybe, in that I accept that I have the power to heal myself and to let the love and energy of others heal me also. And that I’ve consciously journeyed myself through such things in life that I am willing and able to act as a guide for others on the path.
We all need guides. Even the guides. In this process of evolution, within the process of just being human animals, we need one another to guide ourselves home to ourselves, to reflect, to clash, to feel our edges, to catalyse, to lean on, to lean in, to connect, to feel, to fail, to fall, and to lift each other up. We are integral to one another’s process.
We are all medicine people.
My gift is one of seeing process clearly, which is really just the gift of intimacy; with self and with others, and I am learning now how to share it.
The next step on my journey is participating in Bonnie’s Yoni Mapping Practicioner’s training www.blissyoni.com which I see is doing the sacred work of bringing our sex, our sexuality and the yoni; the cradle of our life force and energy; back into the embrace of wholeness, from the exile of taboo.
I feel honoured to be called, and to be here in this moment in time and space to be a part of this process.
I am alive, I am awake, I am ready.